He showed up for dinner in dirty clothes

Elizabeth is “54 years young,” works as a government analyst and lives east of Toronto. She is most comfortable in jeans with boots, but says she likes dressing up. “My look is natural. What you see is what I am.” Elizabeth is “funny, kind, caring, loyal, patient, confident, talkative, practical, outgoing and honest.” She likes dancing to ’80s music, hosting dinner parties, hiking with friends — “with a dog or without” — and chatting with friends over coffee.

I had been single for a year when I meet Chris. Previously, I had been married for 15 years and I have a wonderful son. I would meet men online, one at a time — not several at a time, like some people do — and then after a few emails or texts I would meet them in person. I didn’t want a pen-pal, but I found that lots of men wanted to talk and not actually meet.

I met Chris, who was a single father, online. We texted and then we had a few phone calls so I could hear his voice and get to know him better. He had a very nice speaking voice. I was interested in him because he seemed caring and hardworking. He also seemed to be up front about his life and his child, and he talked highly of his parents.

At the end of one of our calls, he asked me out for dinner and dancing. I was excited to meet him and to get dressed up. I told him that you can’t wear jeans to the club we were going to go to, and he assured me that he knew that already and had nice clothes to wear.

We decided to go to a pub for dinner first, as it was a cosy place with a more mature crowd and you’re able to talk without yelling over each other. It’s hard to get to know someone when you’re yelling.

When I met Chris, I was like, really? He was wearing clothes that looked dirty and his hair was sticking up on his head. I wasn’t impressed. The way he presented himself was just bad. He didn’t seem bothered by the way he looked, but he did mention that he had just worked a double shift. I was confused, but decided to stay on the date. As we sat down to eat, I thought, what do I have to lose?

I was surprised when our conversation over dinner was good. It was full of laughter and lots of sharing. I had to admit, he had a sexy voice and nice eyes. He asked me lots of questions about myself, my son and my parents, which indicated to me that he was probably a decent guy. I found that engaging in conversation with him was easy. He picked up the cheque and then told me that he would go home, get cleaned up and meet me in an hour for dancing.

Chris had mentioned that he was very tired after his double shift and I noticed that he had a hard time even zipping up his coat. I asked him why he didn’t call me to cancel our date, as he was clearly exhausted, and he said that he really wanted to meet me. I told him that my first impression wasn’t good, as a result, and he told me he cleans up nicely. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I called him about an hour later to arrange meeting up for dancing. He answered the phone clearly having just woken up. He admitted that he was fast asleep when I called! He said that he had used all his energy at dinner, and finally just told me that he needed to sleep and that it would be best if we went dancing another night. I agreed that he needed to sleep, but I told him that I was not interested in meeting up again and wished him well.

I need the man in my life to have better judgment than what Chris showed me. He should have called and cancelled our date when he knew he’d be coming from a double shift.

He actually called me again a few months later and said he wanted to take me out dancing as a do-over for our last date, but I said I wasn’t interested.

Elizabeth rates her date (out of 10): 1

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